i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
