U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize