my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
