I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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