What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
