Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
