Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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