I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
