i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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