i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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