He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
