i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
