im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
