Christians are straight up FREAKS
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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