Dignity is for republicans.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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