I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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