Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
