So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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