So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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