There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
