Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
