i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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