it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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