Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
