you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
