Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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