A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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