Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
