barbara walters just said penis...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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