i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I will be naked everywhere
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
