Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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