Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
