what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
