I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dignity is for republicans.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
