All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
