somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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