is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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