I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
