Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
