I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
