Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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