I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Non-Jews are for practice
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
