Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
