Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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