are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
