Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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