I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
