I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
