you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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