the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
