May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
