I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
