I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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