Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
