I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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