I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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