five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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