did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
