id be glad to
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize