is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you will always have a special place in my vag
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
