On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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