So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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