If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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